Cosmically powered school girls in sailor suits #5
by theimortalone
Summary: A sailor moon parody series
1. Pilot

Cosmic Powered Teenage Schoolgirls in Sailor Suits  
  
Full moon is my idea and if you take it for your own I will send Puma after you.  
  
"A thousand years ago, our Moon was home to a great town ruled by Queen Moronity. Everything was peaceful until the arrival of the evil Queen B.O."  
  
"Ha ha ha ha. First, the Moon shall be mine. Then, the Universe!" Queen B.O. says.  
  
"To conquer the Moon, Queen B.O. unleashed the awesome power of her fart and lit it. Although her world was destroyed, Queen Moronity's last hope was the power of the Serum Copper Crystal and a jack and the box."  
  
"Only this Crystal and Jack in the box can combat the power of the Negativeforce. Never let our enemies get them, or the Universe is doomed, but most of all, you must protect our dear Princess Marina. Understand?" Queen Moronity asks.  
  
Puma and Arbor mist are too busy playing with each other to hear her.  
  
Frozen in full Moon Beam Crystals, the queen sent the princess and the children of the Moon to the future on Earth. Their memories lost to them all, the queen's cat advisors, Puma and Arbor mist. Must find the Princess, so she will at last be safe. And so, our story begins   
  
  
A girl wakes up with a scream.  
  
"I'm late for school." She yells and runs downstairs.  
  
Marina shoots her mom a bad look.  
  
"Why didn't you wake me up?" Marina asks.  
  
"Cause you looked so peaceful." Marina's mom jokes.  
  
Marina forces her breakfast down and rushes out.  
  
"Wait Marina you forgot something." The mother says.  
  
Marina looks back and blushes. She rushes to take her tampons. Marina races out the door.   
  
She sees a kid petting a cat.  
  
"Hey you shouldn't pet strange cats." Marina yells.  
  
The kid runs away and Marina looks at the cat. She sees the bandage.  
  
"Oh did you get hurt?" Marina asks.  
  
She removes the bandage and sees a full moon. The cat yowls and breaks free.  
  
"Wait." Marina yells.  
  
The cat escapes though.  
  
"There is something about that girl. Something special." The cat says.  
  
Marina arrives at school and goes to class.  
  
"Hey did you hear there's a new Sailor Pee video game out." Marina asks.  
  
"Marina shut the heck up and get back to your studying. You sucked at this test." Ms. Harlema says.  
  
"I failed. Oh my god I am so dead." Marina whines.  
  
"Shut up you little crap." Ms. Harlema yells.  
  
After class Marina hangs out with her friend Smelly.  
  
"Oh come on it's just one test." Smelly says.  
  
"But my mom will kill me." Marina says.  
  
"You are just over reacting." Smelly says.  
  
"No I really mean it. She said so last time." Marina says.  
  
"Hey Marina. I heard you failed that test. Want me to take it for you next time?" Smellvile asks  
  
"About as much as I would want to have chickenpox and a bad flu at the same time." Marina responds.  
  
"You're such weirdo Smellvile. She doesn't need somebody to help her with her tests. She needs a new brain." Smelly says.  
  
Marina cries.  
  
"Hey I hear they have brain-enhancing drugs at the mall." Smelly says.  
  
"You're going to go shopping. What's more important than your grades? I didn't study and I got a 99. How am I ever going to explain it to my parents?" Smellvile asks.  
  
"Who gives a crap you dweeb." Smelly says.  
  
"Maybe he's right." Marina says crying.  
  
"Let's go and get that brain-enhancing drug. We can shop and then shop some more. By the time you get home your mom will only beat you senseless." Smelly says.  
  
"Can we look for some earrings?" Marina asks.  
  
"Yeah my mom has a jewelry store. It sucks." Smelly says.  
  
"I guess I could use a new bun for my hair." Marina says.  
  
"Yeah she has everything. Diamonds, jewels rubies. She even has fake stuff." Smelly says.  
  
"Oh I love that." Marina says.  
  
"She has all kinds of colors. Though I'd be careful they are pretty crappy and can fall apart easily." Smelly says.  
  
"What are we waiting for let's go!" Marina yells.  
  
"Serena, beautiful but dumber than a thumbtack." Smellvile says.  
  
Meanwhile in a dark realm an evil queen is looking at her ball.  
  
"The oracle says it's time to attack the other dimension to unleash the power of the negative force." Queen B.O. says.  
  
Her minions agree with her.  
  
"But to do so I will need lots of fart gas. We shall get it from the planet earth. Fedup get your worthless butt out here and tell me of your progress." Queen B.O. says.  
  
"Yes Queen B.O. my servant moron is on the other side preparing to gather fart gas. The humans are weak sissies and they will yield to our power and then nothing will stand in our way." Fedup says.  
  
Meanwhile at Smell  
  
  
Meanwhile at Smelly's mom's store she is greeting people  
  
"Come in everybody is welcome." Smelly's mom says.  
  
"What's going on?" Serena asks.  
  
"Welcome ladies. Would you like to try this ring on?" Smelly's mom asks.  
  
"I don't get it. My mom is acting weird." Smelly says.  
  
"Why?" Marina asks.  
  
"Cause she's being nice." Smelly says.  
  
"Today only everything in the store is 99% off." Smelly's mom says.  
  
Smelly's mom gets a sinister look on her face.  
  
"And surrender your fart gas to Queen B.O. and the negative force. I am Moron loyal servant to the negativerse and my fake jewelry will give you gas." Smelly's mom says.  
  
"You are doing well Moron. So much niceness so much fart gas. Queen B.O. will be pleased." Fedup says.  
  
"Mom!" Smelly yells.  
  
"Oh smelly what a surprise. Want a few diamonds for free?" Smelly's mom asks.  
  
"No Marina and me came for fake jewelry." Smelly responds.  
  
"Fake jewelry? Don't be silly take some diamonds. In fact take the whole stores worth." Smelly's mom says.  
  
"I can't believe this." Marina says.  
  
"Would you like to try this ring on?" Smelly's mom asks.  
  
"Would I!" Marina yells.  
  
"It's a flawless twenty-carat diamond! For you I will pay you 10 dollars if you take this." Smelly's mom says.  
  
"What's up with your mom Smelly?" Marina asks.  
  
"I don't know. My mom has never been this nice before. It's freaking me out." Smelly responds.  
  
"This place sucks." Marina says.  
  
"Where are you going?" Smelly asks.  
  
"I think I will go to bed before my mom finds out about my grades." Marina responds.  
  
"Okay see you tomorrow I hope." Smelly says.  
  
Marina rushes out of the store fast.  
  
"Oh man how am I ever going to explain this to my mom?" Marina wonders.  
  
She runs into a guy.  
  
"Hey watch it bunsandburger-head." The guy says.  
  
"Shut up Harrierjet." Marina snaps.  
  
Harrierjet picks up her test and smiles.  
  
"A 1%?" Harrierjet asks. Are you lazy or just brain-dead?" Harrierjet asks.  
  
"How dare you. Give me that!" Marina yells.  
  
She walks away mad.  
  
"The nerve of him calling me a bunsandburger-head. Still he is cute." Marina says.  
  
"Something about that girl." Harrierjet says.  
  
"Oh the new sailor video game! I wish I could be like Sailor pee. She's so vain and dumb. And what a body. Something exciting is always happening to her. Not like mine. Who am I kidding? I'll never be like Sailor pee." Marina says walking past a video arcade.  
  
Marina finally gets home and walks in with her head hanging.  
  
"So how did you do on yesterday's remedial math test?" Marina's mom asks.  
  
"Test in remedial math?" Marina responds nervous.  
  
"Yeah you know. Tests that teachers use to see how much the students haven't learned. You were supposed to be studying for it with Smelvin. He only got a 99 and now he's grounded for a year." Marina's mom says.  
  
Marina remembers being in the library looking at playgirl magazines while Melvin studies.  
"Oh yeah that remedial math test." Marina says.  
  
"Marina how did you do?" Marina's mom asks getting mad.  
  
"Well mom there's this new system in class..." Marina starts to say.  
  
"Let me see." Marina's mom says ticked.  
  
"Okay." Marina says meekly.  
  
Marina's mom takes the test and her face turns red and steam comes out of her ears.  
  
"You said you studied! Remember what I said last time?" Marina's mom asks.  
  
"That you would smother me with love and do no harm?" Marina responds.  
  
Back at Smelly's mom's store something is happening to the people in the store.  
  
"Something is wrong. I feel very strange." One woman says.  
  
"I'm going to barf." Another woman says running into the bathroom.  
  
"Momma I'm scared. What if they make a mess of the bathroom?" Smelly asks.  
  
Smelly's mother turns towards her and she has an evil look on her face.  
  
"Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Smelly's mom says.  
  
"Momma what's wrong with you?" Smelly asks.  
  
"I'm possessed by a freaking evil entity you idiot what do you think?" Moron responds.  
  
Meanwhile Marina is trying to study in her room.  
  
"Studying so hard is very tiring. All these books. All these words." Marina whines.  
  
The book is open to extreme basic math and most of the page is filled with a picture showing the problem 2+2.  
  
"How does Smelvin do it? So tired." Marina says.  
  
A cat comes jumping through the window.  
  
"You scared me what are you doing here?" Marina asks.  
  
"Why Marina I came to see you." The cat responds.  
  
"Oh my god a stalking cat." Marina yelps.  
  
"My name is Puma and I have been searching for you for a very long time. You are the chosen one and I have been sent here to guide you on the path to your ultimate destiny. I wasn't sure if you were the one the first time we met. But I have been watching you and now I absolutely know that you are the Full moon scout." Puma says.  
  
Marina is snoring as she fell asleep during the speech.  
"Wake up Marina. Your friend Smelly is in big trouble. You have got to help her!" Puma yells.  
  
Marina doesn't wake up so Luna hits her over the head with a locket.  
  
"Huh what is going on? What is that?" Marina asks.  
  
"It's a special locket just for you." Puma responds.  
  
"Okay did my mom send you? She's always trying to get me to wear crap like this. Tell her to leave me alone." Marina says.  
  
"Serena, It's not just a piece of jewelry. Listen to me! You are Sailor moon sworn to defend the princess of the moon! Powerful evil forces have appeared here on earth and that special locket can help you fight them." Puma yells.  
  
A butterfly on the windowsill has long since distracted Marina's attention.  
  
"Pretty butterfly." Marina says.  
  
Puma rowls and slashes Marina in the back.  
  
"Pay attention Marina. Do you hear me? This is your destiny!" Puma yells.  
  
"My destiny? I thought my destiny was to fail at school and repeat the 8th grade 10 times." Marina says.  
  
"I'll prove it Marina. Just repeat after me. Moon prism power!" Puma yells.  
  
"Okay whatever. Just to get you to leave me alone." Marina says.  
  
She raises up the locket.  
  
"Moon prism power!" Marina yells.  
  
Marina goes into a transformation and gets a really short mini skirt.  
  
"Arghhh. I can't let my mom see me like this. She said I should never wear skirts this short." Marina says.  
  
"Help me!" A voice says.  
  
"That's Smelly!" Marina yells.  
  
"That's right. She's in big trouble." Puma says.  
  
"Yeah but what can I do? You keep forgetting I am just a dumb girl." Marina asks.  
  
"You are full moon. You will know what to do when you look into your heart." Puma responds.  
  
Serena looks at her chest and screams as she jumps out the window.  
  
"That girl is going to be trouble." Puma says chasing after her.  
  
Meanwhile back at the jewelry shop Molly is screaming for help.  
  
"There's no one to help you now little girl." Moron says.  
  
"Help me!" Smelly yells.  
  
Moron slaps a piece of tape on Smelly's mouth to shut her up.  
  
"Ha, ha, ha, ha! Soon you and your kind will cease to exist. Once Queen B.O. unleashes the Negativeforce and lights it, she will destroy you all." Moron says.  
  
"Let her go!" Marina yells.  
  
"What the f?" Moron asks.  
  
"I said, let her go!" Marina yells.  
  
"And who are you?" Moron asks.  
  
"Uh I forget. Um line?" Marina responds confused.  
  
Puma rowls annoyed.  
  
"She is Full moon, the champion of justice! On behalf of the moon, she shall right wrongs and triumph over evil. And that means you!" Puma responds.  
  
"Uh yeah what she said." Marina says.  
  
"Full moon. What kind of name is that?" Moron asks.  
  
Moron raises up her hands.  
  
"Arise my children and serve the great power that is the Negativeforce." Moron says.  
  
Everybody farts all of a sudden and they all raise up like zombies.  
  
One of them just barely misses Marina.   
  
"Puma help me! I don't know what to do!" Marina yells.  
  
Another one slams into her and she hits a pillar.  
  
"That hurt. I don't want to do this anymore." Marina whines.  
  
"Full moon you idiot. You must fight this evil monster or the whole universe could cease to exist." Puma says.  
  
"I don't want to play this game any more! I want to go home." Marina says.  
  
"Fine I'll send you away for good!" Moron yells.  
  
Suddenly a red rose lands in front of the two.  
  
"Now who might you be?" Moron asks.  
  
"ksam odexut ma I. ouy nihtiw roirraw hte dnif dna traeh ruoy kool, noom lluF. ynitsed ruoy si tI." Ksam Odexut says.  
  
"Say what?" Marina asks.  
Kasm Odexut says some more stuff backwards.  
  
"I can't understand you. What am I going to do?" Marina asks crying.  
  
"Stop that idiot's crying." Moron says.  
  
Some more people go after Marina.  
  
"Full Moon throw your tiara and then say moon tiara magic." Puma says.  
  
"What's the use? I can't fight and I can't understand what this guy is saying." Marina asks.  
  
"Just do it!" Puma yells.  
  
"Moon tiara magic!" Marina yells.  
  
She beings to throw her tiara but one of her buns gets loose and she trips on her ponytail. The tiara goes wild and rebounds off of Kasm Odexut then hits all of the people and Moron. They all disappear. In the process it breaks every jewel in the store.  
  
"Did I do that? Marina asks.  
  
"Yes and you are going to owe a lot of money." Puma says.  
  
Meanwhile in the other universe Fedup and Queen B.O. get ecstatic as the air is filled with fart gas. Suddenly it all disappears.  
  
"What happened? Someone will pay dearly for this!" Fedup says.  
  
"Yes and that someone will be you!" Queen B.O. says.  
  
She turns herself away from Fedup and lights a fart. The resulting explosion destroys Fedup.  
  
"If you want a job done right you have to do it yourself." Queen B.O. says.  
  
She opens up a can of chili and starts eating it.  
  
"!ouy htiw thgif lliw I. diarfa eb ton oD. eerf era nemow rehto eht lla dna rehtom s'yllems dna, noom lluf, llew enod evah uoY" Kasm Odekxut says.  
  
Marina faints.  
  
"Marina are you all right? Full moon speak to me!" Puma yells.  
  
"What a hunky guy. Sure wish I could understand him." Marina says.  
  
The next day is school Marina goes tired.  
  
"Marina, you're not going to believe this, but my mom and I had the strangest dream." Smelly says.  
  
"No let me guess. This hideous monster attacked you and that this beautiful warrior named Full moon saved you." Marina says.  
  
"How did you know? That's very weird Marina." Smelly says.  
  
"Hey could you keep it down. I was up late last night and I just need a little bit of rest." Marina asks.  
  
She falls asleep and begins snoring.  
  
FULL MOON SAYS.  
  
If you think this parody sucked then you are right on the money. Parodies shouldn't be so over the top. If you want to make a parody you should make it more subtle. Full moon says.  
  



	2. Scoutmaniacs

Cosmically powered schoolgirls in sailor suits #2: Scoutmaniacs.  
  
Cosmically powered schoolgirls in sailor suits is my idea and if you try to steal it I will send yakko over to burp you to death. The animaniacs, Mindy and buttons are the property of whoever does the animaniacs show.  
  
Queen B.O. is eating chili but nothing is happening. She looks at the can and it says now with beano in it.  
  
"Damn it."  
  
B.O. throws the can aside.  
  
"I need another warrior. Someone step forward."  
  
A little girl walks slowly into the light.  
  
"A little girl? Who are you?"  
  
"Mindy."  
  
"Okay fine. I want you to go out and gather fart gas for the negative force."  
  
"Okay lady."  
  
"You will call me my queen."  
  
"Okay lady. Love ya bye bye."  
  
B.O. yells and blasts Mindy down to earth. She appears in a backyard on a swing with a dog nearby. A woman comes out.  
  
"Okay Mindy. Mommy is going to go out and save the world. Make sure nothing happens to my little girl, Buttons."  
  
Buttons whines.  
  
"Now Mindy you be good for buttons okay?"  
  
"Okay lady."  
  
"Call me mommy."  
  
"Okay lady. Love ya bye bye."  
  
The mother leaves. As soon as she is out of sight Mindy blasts her self free with some eye lasers. She then takes off. Buttons whines and takes off after her. Meanwhile at the construction site, Marina, Harrierjet and Smelvin walk in.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"I think it's a construction site or something."  
  
"Really do you think they construct anything cute?"  
  
"Maybe ways to help me belch louder."  
  
Smelvin starts belching over and over again.  
  
"Let's go in."  
  
They walk in and a construction worker walks up to them. Marina's eyes go wide.  
  
"Hello nurse."  
  
Marina jumps into the workers hands and he drops her. Marina starts crying.  
  
"Oh look what you went and did. You made her cry."  
  
"Hey she jumped into my hands. She's too heavy for that." The worker frowns.  
  
Marina cries louder.  
  
"Say you're sorry."  
  
"Okay fine if that will shut her up. I'm sorry."  
  
Marina gets up and puts her arms around the worker.  
  
"Let's make up and give me a kiss."  
  
The worker pushes her away.  
  
"What do you do here?" Smelvin looks around.  
  
"We pound in hard things."  
  
"Okay goodnight folks." Harrier jet says to the camera.  
  
"What? We do pound in hard things."  
  
"Okay that's enough potty mouth."   
  
Meanwhile Smelvin is looking around everywhere.  
  
"What does this do?"  
  
He turns on the jackhammer that a worker was holding. He jackhammers himself into the ground.  
  
"What does this do?"  
  
He pushes a button over and over again making the elevator go up and down and hurting the guy in it.  
  
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" The worker yells finally having had it.  
  
"He's mean."  
  
"Hey!" A voice yells.  
  
The 3 gasp as they see a fat security worker with a net in his hands.  
  
"Okay goodnight folks for real." Harrierjet says as he takes off with the others.  
  
"Finally those brats are gone."  
  
Meanwhile Mindy has crawled into the yard and is crawling around the machinery. Buttons finally finds her and yelps. Mindy just barely crawls though a ponder before it hits. Buttons runs through and gets smashed by it. Mindy walks onto a beam that is being lifted up. Buttons yelps after her but can't get to her. Mindy walks off the beam and another one moves under her feet. Finally she reaches the top.  
  
"Give me fart gas my servant." Queen B.O.'s voice echoes in Mindy's head.  
  
Mindy turns towards one of the workers.  
  
"Oh how cute. How did you get up her little missy?"  
  
Mindy looks at him and the worker's face changes. She goes around and turns the others. They all get in the elevator but it seems to be malfunctioning. A little kid is standing near the button.  
  
"Elevator go up. Elevator go down."  
  
Finally he gets bored and crawls away. The zombie workers get off shakily. The other workers scream as the zombies attack them.  
  
"That's far enough." A voice yells out.  
  
Full moon appears.  
  
"How dare you wreck the work place? I am full moon and in the name of the moon I shall punish you."  
  
Another girl appears next to her.  
  
"And I am Sailor Jerky."  
  
"Damn it she's not supposed to be in the show yet. We haven't introduced her." A voice says.  
  
"Get rid of her." Another voice says.  
  
A hole appears under Jerky and she falls screaming. The same little kid crawls up to the hole.  
  
"Sailor go down the hole."  
  
Mindy screams and cries. A monster that looks like buttons appears and growls.  
  
"Uh stay away from me." Full moon says backing away scared.  
  
The dog barks so loud that a shock wave knocks Full moon down. A red rose strikes the ground in front of the hellhound.  
  
"dnouH lleH sihT yortseD. uP eviG t'noD nooM roliaS" Ksam Odexut says.  
  
"Oh not again. Why can't I understand him?"  
  
The hound leaps into the air and lands on Full Moon.  
  
"Someone help me!"  
A fat security guard runs by chasing some small dog children. Buttons growls at his double. The hell hound growls back and jumps off Full moon. Full Moon takes her tiara.  
  
"Moon tiara power!" Full moon yells.  
  
The tiara hits the hellhound and destroys him. Buttons takes Mindy and returns to his backyard.  
  
"Buttons. I told you to protect Mindy. Now she has turned evil and has tried to destroy the world." The mother scolds.  
  
Buttons tries to protest but falls on his face.  
  
"It's okay Buttons."  
  
Full moon says.  
Full moon is currently unavailable as the people that make the animaniacs show for doing this incredibly stupid parody is suing her. Full moon says.  
  
  



	3. Slayme and the dumb jock.

Cosmically powered schoolgirls in sailor suits #3: Slayme and the dumb jock.  
  
Full moon is my idea. If you steal it then I will send Slayme over to bore you to death with her genius talk.  
  
Queen B.O. is more ticked than ever.  
  
"You have all failed me twice."  
  
A voice coughs.  
  
"You suck man!"  
  
"Who said that?"  
  
The sound of crickets and frogs sounds.  
  
"Doesn't anybody respect me?"  
  
More silence.  
  
"Never mind. Someone step forward to serve me."  
  
A big buff guy steps forward and does posing.  
  
"Yo tell me that you find my rippling biceps attractive."  
  
Queen B.O. sighs.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"I'm stupid dumb idiot jock."  
  
"That's too long."  
  
"Yo just call me jockass."  
  
"Whatever. Just get rid of that pesky full moon now!"  
  
"Yo I'll make her do bench presses."  
  
B.O. blasts the man and he disappears. Meanwhile Marina is racing down the sidewalk.  
  
"I'm 3 hours late. My teacher is going to kill me."  
  
Down the street another girl is racing.   
  
"I'm a second late. My teacher is going to kill me."  
  
The two collide and books go flying.  
  
"Hey watch it!" Marina gets up.  
  
"I apologize profusely. I didn't mean to occupy the same space as you causing a impact of bodies."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I have to go."  
  
The girl picks up her stuff and rushes off. Marina picks up a sheet she left with a disk in it.  
  
"This is in some foreign language."  
  
The sheet is in Japanese. Marina finds someone to translate.  
  
"The address is the local university and her name is Slayme."  
  
Marina shows the disk.  
  
"And the disk says really important stuff that will get me expelled if I don't turn them in."  
  
Marina shrugs and throws the disk away.  
  
"I better get this class schedule back to her or she might forget what classes to go to."  
  
Meanwhile Slayme reaches class.  
  
"Ms. Andersonofawitch you are 1 nanosecond late."  
  
Slayme blushes.  
  
"I'm sorry professor. It will not happen again."  
  
"It better not or you go back to the 8th grade."  
  
"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"  
  
"Hey I will not have any slow motion yelling in my class!"  
  
"NO! Sorry about that."  
  
Slayme finishes her class and guys to gym class. Jockass is there.  
  
"Yo I'm replacing your teacher as she pulled a groin muscle."  
  
The male students snicker.  
  
"I think she was trying to lift a ton or something."  
  
Slayme looks worried.  
  
"Is she going to be alright?" A student asks.  
  
"Yeah but she can't have any kids."  
  
"But she was pregnant."  
  
"Uh. Stop this yapping and run 100 laps!"  
  
Everybody groans but does it when Jockass's eyes glow.  
  
Meanwhile Puma meets Marina outside of the university.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Puma races up.  
  
"I came to give this girl I ran into her class schedule back."  
  
"I've come cause I get a sense that the next cosmically powered schoolgirl is in this university. We have to find all of them to save this planet. It's vital.  
  
Marina has already seduced the guard and is halfway across the court by the time Puma is finished. Puma rowls in annoyance and takes off after her.  
  
"You have to listen to what I say. If we are going to defeat the darkness we need all 5."  
  
Marina hears screaming and races towards it. In the gym the girls and boys are screaming as they are trying to power lift Jockass.  
  
"Come-on feel the burn!"  
  
Marina stops at the door and sees Jockass.  
  
"I feel evil energy in him. Transform full moon!"  
  
"Moon crystal power!"  
  
Full moon comes crashing through the door.  
  
"How dare you force kids to do the impossible. I am Full moon and in the name of the moon I will punish you!"  
  
Jockass throws a weight at Full moon, which crushes her onto the ground.  
  
"What's going on?" Slayme yells.  
  
Suddenly a symbol appears on her forehead.  
  
"Sailor Jerky!"  
  
Puma runs to Slayme.  
  
"Listen to me. You are destined to becomes a cosmically powered schoolgirl."  
  
"Oh my higher power. It's a vocal cord vibrating domesticated feline!"  
  
"Whatever just use this."  
  
Puma does a flip and a wand falls into Slayme's hand.  
  
"Just call out Jerky crystal power!"  
  
Slayme shrugs and raises the pen up.  
  
"First rock from the sun power!"  
  
Nothing happens.  
"Uh that's mercury. You are jerky."  
  
"Jerky star power!"  
  
Slayme becomes Sailor jerky.  
  
"Use your powers and help full moon."  
  
"H20 in spherical form blast!"  
  
Water bubbles shoot from her hands and hit Jockass head on.  
  
"Yo it's time to pump you up!"  
  
Steroids start shooting out of Jockass's muscles and knocks Sailor Jerky to the ground. He advances on her but a red rose suddenly lands in front of her.  
  
"!ti od Ouy .pu reh spmup ssakcoj erofeb etam maet wen ruoy evas tsum uoy noom Luff." Ksam Odexut says.  
  
"Oh no not again. Why can't I understand him?"  
  
"Use your tiara full moon!"  
  
Full moon throws the tiara.  
  
"Time to make a pose."  
  
Jockass makes a final pose before the tiara hits him and he disintegrates. Full moon and sailor jerky both power down.  
  
"So I'm a higher than average person that helps others?"  
  
"Uh I guess."  
  
"That's below a warm temperature."  
  
"Am I going to to have to put up with this strange talk forever?"  
  
Puma smiles and nods.  
  
"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"  
  
A professor shows up.  
  
"Hey no slow motion yelling on campus!"  
  
Full moon says.  
If you are a stupid dumb idiot jock aka jockass then the moral for this story is to not get defeated by the good guys. Full moon says.  
  
  



	4. Psychic Slayme

Cosmically powered schoolgirls in sailor suits #4: Psychic Slayme   
  
Full moon is my idea. Try to steal it and I will send Slayme to your house to bore you to death.  
  
Slayme is walking down the road reading the unabridged Webster's dictionary. A couple of girls run into her in a hurry.  
  
"Hey use your optical nerves when moving forward!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"We're sorry. We are just excited to go to this new booth that opened up. This lady there can tell you your future."  
  
"That's not very likely to be true. You can't tell about a time period that hasn't happened yet."  
  
The two girls look confused.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
The two girls take off.  
  
"Some female members of the species will believe anything."  
  
Slayme goes to school. After school she walks home and sees hundreds of kids gathered around a booth.  
  
"Come and I will tell you your future."  
  
A girl gives a dollar and the woman looks at her 8 ball.  
  
"I see that you will flunk out of high school and get married to a dumb jock and fail miserably."  
  
"All right!"  
  
The girls spins around and high fives the others. A couple of girls see Ami and motion to her.  
  
"Hey Slayme. Come get your future told."  
  
"Negative. I will not needlessly waste my paper currency."  
  
One of the girls pulls Slayme towards the booth and grabs a dollar from Slayme's purse. The woman smiles.  
  
"I see that you are smart. Too smart. If you keep it up your head will explode."  
  
"This is beyond acceptable. I'm going to my place of residence."  
  
"But don't leave before I give you my free gift."  
  
Slayme frowns.  
  
"Okay. I guess I can take a offer that requires no currency."  
  
The woman hands over a pendant. Slayme puts it on and leaves. But not before she notices that all the other girls have the same pendant. Meanwhile in another dimension Queen B.O. is watching with glee.  
  
"Yes foolish humans. Take those pendants so I can have your fart gas!"  
  
Queen B.O. continues to watch the action in her crystal ball.  
  
"Psycho psychic is the best henchperson I have ever had."  
  
Meanwhile back on earth Slayme is returning home and she runs into Marina.  
  
"Hey nice pendant. Where did you get it?"  
  
"I got it as a free offer from a female of the species that vocalizes that she can tell of a time period that hasn't happened yet."  
  
"Huh? Well tell me where she is so I can go there also."  
  
Slayme sighs and takes Marina back to the booth. The girls are still standing around. Marina steps up and gives the woman a dollar.  
  
"Ah I see you stumbling down a flight of stairs then ending up in a wheelchair. Where you wheel off of a road into a ditch."  
  
"Is that bad?"  
  
The woman gives Marina a pendant. But before she can put it on suddenly she hears a commotion.  
  
"Give me your pendant jerk!"  
  
Slayme and Marina spin around to see all the girls pulling at each other's hair and having catfights.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"It's a accelerated anger explosion."  
  
Marina's pendant glows and she drops it.  
  
"What's wrong? Didn't like the pendant?" Psycho psychic says in a deep voice.  
  
Marina spins around and yelps when she sees that the woman has turned into a monster.  
  
"It's a very bad mutated life form!"  
  
They both rush to a hiding place. Marina raises her brooch.  
  
"Moon crystal power!"  
  
"Jerky star power!"  
  
"That's enough. How dare you tell false fortunes and then make then cat fight!"  
  
"She's Full moon, and in the word her parents gave her to identify herself, of the natural satellite that orbits our planet she will punish you!"  
  
Full moon looks confused.  
  
"Uh yeah what she said."  
  
The booth explodes and Psycho psychic bursts out.  
  
"I see you have no future!"  
  
She throws a ton of 8 balls at the scouts. The 8 ball lands on 'looks doubtful'. Suddenly the ball opens up and starts sucking Full moon in.  
  
"Full moon!"  
  
"I don't like the future."  
  
But a red rose hits and shatters the 8 ball.  
  
"Sailor moon! Don't let her tell you your future. You make your own future. Destroy that Psycho." Tuxedo mask yells.  
  
Ohcysp that yortsed. Erutuf now ruoy ekam uoy. Erutuf ruoy uoy llet reh tel t'noD. Noom rolias!" Ksam odexut says.  
  
"Damn it. I am never going to understand him."  
  
"You will never understand him. I see that in your future."  
  
Marina gets ticked off.  
  
"Oh yeah well I make my own future!"  
  
"H20 in spherical form blast!"  
  
The bubbles knock Psycho psychic down to her knees.  
  
"Moon tiara magic!"  
  
Full moon's tiara destroys Psycho psychic. The girls all calm down and look around confused.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"That was a great cat fight." Marina smiles.  
  
Full moon says.  
If somebody tells you your future sucks and then gives you a pendant, the moral is they suck! Full moon says.  
  
NEXT TIME CAN MARINA SURVIVE K AND HER CONSANT YELLING!  



	5. K GETS TICKED OFF!

Cosmically powered schoolgirls in sailor suits #5 K GETS TICKED OFF!  
  
Full moon is my idea. Try to steal it and I'LL SEND K AFTER YOU TO DEAFEN YOU!  
  
An elderly man is sitting cross-legged in a temple. He is brining up a cup a tea to his lips.  
  
"GRANDPA I'm HOME!"  
  
He drops the cup startled and gets a red face.  
  
"K I told you not to talk so loud!"  
  
A girl with dark hair and a school uniform enters the room.  
  
"I'M NOT TALKING LOUD. I'M SCREAMING!"  
  
"Okay then stop screaming!"  
  
"OKAY!"  
  
The old man gets angrier.  
  
"You're still yelling!"  
  
"THIS ISN'T YELLING."  
  
K takes a deep breath.  
  
"THIS IS YELLING!"  
  
"What did you say?" The old man says shaking his head.  
  
Meanwhile in the other dimension Queen B.O. is watching K on her crystal ball.  
  
"She gives me an idea. Who do I know that is that loud?"  
  
B.O. thinks for a few seconds.  
  
"Oh yeah. Major evil step forward."  
  
A man dressed in drill instructor clothing steps forward.  
  
"MAJOR EVIL REPORTING SIR!"  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me sir?"  
  
"SORRY SIR. JUST FOLLOWING PROTOCOL."  
  
"Whatever. I want you to go and weaken those humans then get their fart gas. Weaken them with your loud voice."  
  
Major evil salutes her.  
  
"YES SIR. I'LL MAKE THEN DROP AND GIVE ME A TRILLION."  
  
"Don't call me..."  
  
Queen B.O. stops herself and just blasts the major down to earth.  
  
"Those Cosmically powered maggots will meet their match in him."  
  
Major evil lands on earth and looks around.  
  
"NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF WUSSIES. EVERYBODY DROP AND GIVE ME A TRILLION!"  
  
People run away and scream. K comes from the nearby temple and walks up to the major.  
  
"HEY CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN HUH?"  
  
Major evil turns towards K and gets really ticked off.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU TELL YOUR SUPERIOR HENCHMAN TO KEEP IT DOWN? DROP AND GIVE ME A ZILLION!"  
  
"I DON'T LIKE YOU VERY MUCH."   
  
K takes on of her fire cards and throws it on Major's back.  
  
"MAY THE SACRED FIRE BURN THIS ANNOYANCE."  
  
K takes a lighter and lights the card making the major scream.  
  
"YOU LITTLE. THAT'S IT. DROP AND GIVE ME INFINITY."  
  
"HE'S NOT HUMAN." K SCREAMS CONFUSED.  
  
Suddenly a huge whip appears out of the major's hands and starts whipping at K.  
  
"DO IT MAGGOT!"  
  
"Hold it right there. Nobody can force someone else to do something unless they are in the military. I am Full moon and in the name of the moon I shall punish you."  
  
Sailor Jerky is next to Full moon.  
  
"And in the name my parents gave me to identify me of h2o I shall punish you also."  
  
The Major screams and whips Sailor Jerky to the ground then full moon. He turns towards K and his tongue wraps around her neck and starts choking her.   
  
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"  
  
Suddenly a symbol appears on her forehead.  
  
"It's Sailor cars!" Puma says.  
  
K's face turns red and she rips the tongue from her neck.  
  
Puma does a flip and the pen drops into K's hand.  
  
"K trust me and say Cars star power!"   
  
K is shocked at first but shrugs and raises the pen up.  
  
"CARS STAR POWER!"  
  
She transforms into sailor cars.  
  
"WOW THIS IS COOL!" K yells her voice is now ever louder than ever.  
  
K turns towards the Major evil.  
  
"Cars fire surround!"  
  
Fireballs surround the major and trap him.  
  
"Finish him Full moon!"  
  
But Full moon is sitting with her hands over her ears.  
  
"I can't hear anything."  
  
Suddenly a red rose flies down and turns into something that covers Car's mouth.  
  
"Gnol rof tsal tnow kolb tat! Gnimaercs emertxe reh tuo kcolb tsuj! noom Lluf od nac uoy!" Ksam odexut says.  
  
"I can't understand or hear him. But at least she isn't screaming anymore."   
  
Full moon stands up.  
  
"Moon tiara magic!"  
  
The tiara destroys Major evil. They all power down.  
  
"HEY GUYS THAT WAS GREAT!"  
  
"Can you please talk normally?"  
  
"Yes can you vibrate your vocal chords at a lower decimal?"  
  
"BUT THIS IS NORMAL!"  
  
Marina takes off.  
  
"Where are you racing at incredible speeds to?"  
  
"Where else? To get an ear plug!"  
  
Full moon says  
IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE THAT WON'T BE QUIET THEN JUST GET A GUY IN A TUXEDO THAT YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND TO COVER HER MOUTH. FULL MOON SAYS.  
  
Next time can K survive when she has to go to the library for a research assignment?  



End file.
